"If we were meant to stay in one place, we would have roots, not feet."
"Your feet will take you where your heart is." - Irish proverb
This morning I woke up in Kansas City, to the first snow in Kansas City. And I ate pancakes and drank coffee and listened to beautiful stories told by one of my favorite people. And I cannot tell you how content this has made me today.
I'm glad to be here. It seems whenever I want to be adventorous and somewhat spontaneous, a million things get in my way.yesterday morning I got in my car to drive and it wouldn't start and I almost gave up. But I made it here, even with all of my obstacles.
But because of obstacles, I feel discouraged from leaving my little town and my little job. This thing called fear stops me. This thing called anxiety stops me. I feel destined to stay in the same place my whole life.
But I know this can't be true! I'm twenty years old and have my entire life open and in front of me. I can literally do almost anything. Sometimes I fell overwhelmed with possibilities. But most of the time I feel overwhelmed with feelings of security and wanting to stay stationary, because nothing seems to go right.
Today Sarah Nicole told me her love for hands and why she loved them. We talked about just wanting to go, but how life gets in the way. And strangely enough, it made me think of feet.
Anyone who follows my Instagram knows how many pictures I take of my feet. It makes me think of all the places our feet can take us. We can choose to walk the same steps everyday. Or explore new walks of life. My logical side is telling me to stay, but I hear the voice of God telling my feet to go. To explore new paths for my feet to walk. To love different kinds of people. To use my life to its fullest potential. I will never regret adventures, even small one of getting lost looking for CHRISTMAS lights.
This world is big and there's a big need for love. God asks us to be open to go where He may lead us. He asks us to be pleasers of God rather than pleasers of men. To serve God and not money. But we as silly humans feel the need to make plans. I don't know where I'll be in five years and this is exciting I me! My life has so much potential. I want to be able to follow the call of God no matter where He leads my feet.
"Show me the way I should walk." Psalm143:8
Monday, December 28, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Coffee fueled rants about love
"Love is the outpouring of one personality in fellowship with another personality."
I've been thinking about love lately. What a complicated, yet simple feeling, verb, and word. It's complex. But also incredibly common. Everyone feels it in some sense. It's so easy to show love to someone we care about. Yet we all show and receive love differently. Love is hard and scary. But we all desire it. It's what we all strive for above all else in life. Love is being vulnerable and opening up. There's a common thought nowadays that we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. But that's incredibly untrue. True love is unselfish. When we try to "love" ourself, we focus on ourselves, and in a sense hate ourselves. But our unhappiness comes a lot from focusing on ourselves and where we fall short. But we need to realize who loves us despite our shortcomings. Once we realize that God sees perfection in us through Christ we don't need to focus on ourselves. Loving and focusing on others brings more joy and fulfillment than "loving ourselves" ever does.
If we were in the middle of suffering and poverty, who would we be thinking about. Not ourselves, but the ones in need. This idea of loving ourselves before loving anyone else is silly considering that Christ tells us to love our enemies.
You know how hard it is to love someone who has done wrong to you? Who is consistently horrible to you?
It's impossible.
I had a humbling week last week. I had a wake up call. I had to apologize to someone who hates me and constantly disrespects me. I still struggle with loving them. But I need to remind myself that I am loved even though I constantly disrespect God. He had made more sacrifice for me, than I can ever do for Him or anyone else. It is easy to love someone who loves us back. What sets us apart is loving someone who hates us and spits in our eye. That is the true test of a saint.
I still struggle with love. With vulnerability, with humble, unapologetic love. With holding my tongue and loving my enemies, with sacrificial and unselfish love.
I work in an environment where the managers show no one appreciation and love. We have so many high school kids who are very impressionable. And one of my main focuses is making them feel appreciated and respected. I want this generation to be filled with love for others. There is depressed and suicidal kids because our generation lacks love. I want there to be a movement of unselfish love. For all these kids who struggle to feel appreciated to strive for something bigger than themselves instead of giving into the weight of doubt and hate and frustration. And giving love back in return.
And this is my prayer for this generation. Learning to love unselfishly in a selfish, confused, world.
I've been thinking about love lately. What a complicated, yet simple feeling, verb, and word. It's complex. But also incredibly common. Everyone feels it in some sense. It's so easy to show love to someone we care about. Yet we all show and receive love differently. Love is hard and scary. But we all desire it. It's what we all strive for above all else in life. Love is being vulnerable and opening up. There's a common thought nowadays that we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. But that's incredibly untrue. True love is unselfish. When we try to "love" ourself, we focus on ourselves, and in a sense hate ourselves. But our unhappiness comes a lot from focusing on ourselves and where we fall short. But we need to realize who loves us despite our shortcomings. Once we realize that God sees perfection in us through Christ we don't need to focus on ourselves. Loving and focusing on others brings more joy and fulfillment than "loving ourselves" ever does.
If we were in the middle of suffering and poverty, who would we be thinking about. Not ourselves, but the ones in need. This idea of loving ourselves before loving anyone else is silly considering that Christ tells us to love our enemies.
You know how hard it is to love someone who has done wrong to you? Who is consistently horrible to you?
It's impossible.
I had a humbling week last week. I had a wake up call. I had to apologize to someone who hates me and constantly disrespects me. I still struggle with loving them. But I need to remind myself that I am loved even though I constantly disrespect God. He had made more sacrifice for me, than I can ever do for Him or anyone else. It is easy to love someone who loves us back. What sets us apart is loving someone who hates us and spits in our eye. That is the true test of a saint.
I still struggle with love. With vulnerability, with humble, unapologetic love. With holding my tongue and loving my enemies, with sacrificial and unselfish love.
I work in an environment where the managers show no one appreciation and love. We have so many high school kids who are very impressionable. And one of my main focuses is making them feel appreciated and respected. I want this generation to be filled with love for others. There is depressed and suicidal kids because our generation lacks love. I want there to be a movement of unselfish love. For all these kids who struggle to feel appreciated to strive for something bigger than themselves instead of giving into the weight of doubt and hate and frustration. And giving love back in return.
And this is my prayer for this generation. Learning to love unselfishly in a selfish, confused, world.
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